Relationship Failure also called as Breakup, Heartbreak, is not really uncommon these days. Every person you meet already has experienced at least one Relationship Failure or Breakup. But have you ever wondered Why most many relationships fail?
After a relationship failure, what most of the people do is complaining, blaming & holding their ex-partner responsible for it.
They will spend so much of time in rewinding & going back to past to remember what went wrong & how that person has hurt them.
Many spend so much time in Blaming, and complaining about their ex and how badly they hurt.
Actually, We all do it. But what we all don’t do is finding out the real reasons about why that relationship failed.
What’s Wrong ?
So, what’s wrong? Why we can’t find the real reasons behind it ?
Because we are busy blaming our ex.
Just ask someone “Why did you Breakup?”. You’ll get answers like “My ex cheated on me” or “My ex never treated me well” or “We fight too much so we decided to split up“, etc.
But these are not the real reasons behind that relationship failure. Confused? Let me give an example
In case of cheating, the real reason is not your ex is a cheater. But your ex’s wants, needs or expectations were not getting fulfilled in that relationship.
Still not convinced? We will go deeper into the real reasons behind Relationship failures or Breakups.
2 Reasons Why Relationship Fails
1. Unfulfilled Wants
We humans have many wants, needs and desires. These wants differs from person to person.
Talking about romantic relationships, every person has two different types of wants as below
A person can have Physical Wants in a relationship like Physical Intimacy, Physical Presence, Spending time together, Going out, etc.
Now let’s look at Emotional Wants
Emotional Wants in a relationship can be Acceptance, Emotional Support, Being loved, etc.
So, how does these wants fails a relationship?
Let’s say Person A has physical wants like Intimacy, Presence and spending time with their partner. Here, the person A has physical wants.
But the Person B (A’s partner) wants are more inclined towards the emotional side which is exactly opposite from A’s wants.
As a result, wants of both person aren’t fulfilled. No one of them will be satisfied in that relationship. One must have to make sacrifices to make that relationship work.
And that’s how eventually a relationship fails due to unfulfilled wants of two people in a relationship.
2. Different Goals
Second and important reason why relationship fails is Goals of two people in a relationship don’t match or align with each other.
I am sure you have came across relationships that seemed so perfect but still ended because of different goals.
Again there are two types of goals of a person.
Well, we all already know what are life goals. Get a high pay job, Settle in a new country, Buy a new house, etc are few examples of common life goals.
We can call Relationship goals or Couple goals as a part of Life Goals. For example – Living together, Marriage, Having kids, etc.
These goals also differ from person to person.
How these goals causes relationship failure ?
Like I said, be it Life goals or Relationship goals both are different for each person. When two people are in a relationship it’s not always that their goals will match.
Let’s try to understand this reason with an example too
So a Person A wants to Marry and have kids together.
But A’s partner B has totally different plans. B is not ready for marriage or having kids is too scary for him/her.
You see? Their goals don’t align with each other. This couple might love each other more than anything but they aren’t compatible with each other.
And their relationship will face a lot of issues in the long run.
There are so many reasons behind a relationship failure. But all those reasons are derived from above two root reasons why a relationship fails.
The problem starts when two people in a relationship try to change others or expect them to change their goals/intentions. (To make that relationship work)
At the end of day, every person prioritises self than others. So it’s illogical to expect others to change themselves for you.
This is why there are many people who loved truly but couldn’t end up in a long lasting relationship. Because they chose different paths for themselves.
Breakups or Relationship failures aren’t bad at all. They will make you understand what are your Wants, Expectations & goals. And this definitely will help you in future relationship.
Because you will be more mature and know about what you want & what not from a relationship.
I hope you enjoyed reading this article & Let me know your thoughts in the comments section.
Thank you for reading !
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