Categories: Self help

Why Hating Someone Is So STUPID (And How To Stop It)

Do you have a person around or far away from you who spoils your mood the moment you see them, hear them or even when someone talks about them?

You are pretty convinced that you hate this person to the death. And you can’t just stand this person without losing your mind.

What if I told hating someone or even disliking someone is pointless.

Don’t believe me? Stay with me till the end of this article and I am sure I’ll make some sense.

Why You Should Stop Hating People

1. It’s Affecting You

Hating someone affects you more than the person you hate.Just observe yourself whenever you feel those feelings of anger, hurt, frustrations when you look at their face or hear their voice or even name.

Doesn’t it ruin your day?

You suddenly feel lost and find hard to do the things which you were doing before developing those feelings of hate inside you.

I’m pretty sure you go through this. Then you keep wondering what went wrong and how a good day suddenly turned into a bad one.

So who is getting affected here?

It’s YOU!

2. You’re Giving Away Control Of You

Not just you are ruining your mood, schedule or even a whole day when you hate someone but you also lose control from yourself.

You actively give the control of your mind, emotions and your daily activities to a person whom you disliked the most.

How stupid is that?

But being that state of anger and hate, most of us don’t realize that we are letting someone else take the control of us.

And the funniest thing is that person you hate might not even have slightest idea that he or she is having such a strong control over your emotions.

It’s you who is actually giving away your well being to someone you hate a lot.

3. You Are Wasting Time

We all have a limited amount of time on this planet. And wasting it on hating some person, a celebrity, a religion, a country or any thing is not something a smart person would do.

Let’s talk about hate spreading on social media.

Everyone is trying to be right about everything. All of us (Yes, including you) have chosen a side, an opinion, a belief we think which is right.

And the problem is that we strongly believe that we are 100% right.

No, not everyone is that blind to their own beliefs. But the people who are, are highly engaged in daily fights in various social media platforms.

Every other day people are fighting with strangers on social media in trying to prove they are right. How time consuming is this?

Is this how people want to spend their valuable time fighting with people and ending up with restlessness?

How To Stop Hating Someone

1. Accept You Can’t Change Someone

Okay, let’s say that the person you hate actually is a bad person. Maybe he or she does have some serious flaws.

But does you hating them change at least a single thing about them?

Most of the time it doesn’t. You can never change a person in any way. And that too with hate? That’s never gonna happen.

So the first thing which you need to accept is that you can not change the person you hate. Whether it’s their bad behavior, habits or things which they did to you. You must accept the person as it is and let them be.

Otherwise you know how hating that person is going to affect your life.

2. Self Reflect / Talk To Yourself

Take a short break from thinking about this person and think about you. Are you perfect? Do you have flaws? Think about it all and be honest with yourself.

If you are imperfect and living with flaws then why can’t this person?

Now, I want you to ask these 3 questions to yourself :

  1. Do I want to let this person control my life?
  2. Do I want to give a right to this person to change my mental state?
  3. Is this person even worth it?

Next time you feel these feelings of hate and anger inside, ask these questions to yourself. And you will have the right answer if you are honest with yourself.

3. Ignore Them

Still you can’t stop yourself from disliking someone then just start ignoring them. They aren’t worth your attention, time or thoughts.

Try to know and understand what is about them which triggers your emotions. Every time you feel that feeling of anger within, go to its root deep inside you.

That’s how you’ll know what it is which just can’t stop you from hating someone. Then you can actively avoid yourself from going in that same direction or situations in future.

Get busy in yourself than others. Because that’s the only person whom you can control. Be with people whom you admire and spend time with them. But also don’t let the people you dislike control you in any way. Be it physically or mentally.

Final Words

To me, hating someone is just pointless. It is like slicing your own throat and blaming the knife (How did I think of this?).

Disliking someone or some thing is fine. But letting that thing take control of your mind is a very dangerous thing that most people do.

Anyway, I hope some of you after reading this article will actually start questioning themselves and stop giving control of your life to other people or a subject whom you hate.

I post Articles on Mondays, Photographs on Wednesdays and Poems on Fridays every week.

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View Comments

  • I agree with all your points but it's human nature, I think I don't hate people but dislike them and as you said it indeed makes our day bad.

    • Yes, it's normal to dislike someone or something. But giving away your control that thing is stupid which we hardly realise.

  • I was just developing bad emotions and then stumbled upon your post and it indeed has helped me in changing my perspective. We often,obliviously, let other people control our thinking, our emotions by getting affected with their remarks, their activities and deeds. Ignoring them is the best way to move on which further helps in emotional healing!!!.

    This is such a beautiful post :)

    • I'm so glad to know you found this post at the right time.

      True that, we let other people destroy our mental peace and keep complaining. I think it's toooo draining and we need to know when to stop.

      Thank you so much for reading ❤️❤️

  • I agree especially with wasting time. I mean why do people even do that? You’re like absorbing all the negative energy with all that hate.

    • Haha, exactly my thought. That's why I say it's stupid to hate someone to such an extreme.

      Most of us aren't aware of our own thoughts.

  • Hate is just one of the many emotions that governs me, so I can't forgo hate completely but certainly I won't cultivate it or make it dominant.....This article is quite illuminating and refreshing especially when u suddenly vanish and reappear after a week😆....loved reading all your positive advices😀.

    • Yes, it is a part of us. So we can't let go of it completely.

      Hahahaha! Damn, you noticed that 😂 I couldn't write for some weird reasons. Also, I might change my blogging schedule in upcoming weeks.

      Thank you so much for reading and sharing your thoughts ❤️

      • Wow! Changing blogging schedule... that's really a nice idea....nd it's ok if u r not a regular writer...But I thought you were having a blast in the quarantine and had gone for social media distancing 😂😂....weird thoughts though😉.... anyway.... how do you do?

  • I usually dislike (I won't use the term 'hate' on it) someone cause of his/her behavior or habits. I think it's normal as long as the reason is acceptable, not just because jealousy or nonsense reasons. For me, if someone I don't like doesn't hurt or mess with me, I'd rather keep calm and mind my own business. But, if he/she try to mess up with me, then, let me give him/her a 'lesson' 😉😁

    • Yeah, I've tried that. But most people don't change or realise their mistakes when we try to point them out. Instead things get worse so like you said it's better to mind our own business ;)

  • So true yet a bit of a challenge not to do. Takes prayer and willpower not to fall into the hatred wagon especially with the cruel and unjust things around us. Thanks for your post! Very timely and a good remindee

    • Yes, it is definitely a challenge to control our anger. But it's for our good, it's worth it ;)

      Thank you for reading ❤️

  • This post is an amazing one. Even though hating others comes naturally these tips can be used to improve ourselves and gradually reduce the hate in us. Thanks you so much for this post!!!

  • So true man. It's pointless to hate someone. You are spoiling your precious time to giving them your attention. Thank you for sharing this.

    • Exactly! Why to waste such precious time on those people 😅

      Thank you for reading ❤️

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