“Why always me?”

“Why everything goes wrong with me?”

“Why everybody hurts me?”

“Why everyone else’s life is better than mine?”

If you find yourself saying or thinking about above statements then this post is for you.

Hello Everyone!

Today, I’m going to talk about Victim mentality. It is a mentality of a person who always acts like a victim to every negative events happening in his/her life.

Still confused? Don’t worry , after reading this post you’ll be identify & also fix the Victim mentality ( In case you have it).

What Is A Victim Mentality?

First let’s try to understand the term Victim. Victim is a person who has experienced any kind of negative experience. For example: Mistreatment, Insult, Loss, Hatred, etc.

So, Victim mentality is a personality trait where a person always thinks of himself/herself as a victim. A person who complains and blames others for any kind of misfortune happening with him/her.

For example:

I’m sure you know someone who keeps complaining about their life. Whether it is about their Relationships, Job, Studies, Family, etc. They always acts as a victim who’s facing difficulties due to others. And he/she will try to seek approval from others & avoid taking responsibility of their own life.

Like a person who keeps blaming others for doing wrong instead of analyzing mistakes of his/her own.

Effects Of Victim Mentality

  • Too much of Negativity – A person with a victim personality has negative reaction to every event occurring around. His/her mind gets wired to think only negative thoughts about everything. So this person will always tend to find negatives in most positive things.
  • No Responsibility – With victim mentality a person will never take responsibility of his/her own actions. This person will always blame others for anything wrong happening. He/she will always held others responsible for everything wrong happened in their life.
  • Lack of Motivation – There will be no motivation to work harder for anything. As the victim is busy blaming others & not taking responsibility, he/she will mostly spend time and energy in complaining. So there will be no motivation to work harder or find a solution to the problem.
  • Dependence on others – A victim always seeks approval from others. He/she tends to rely on others for support all the time. So they get dependent on others. And depending on others is the most dangerous thing as you’re actually giving someone rights to hurt you. When you get dependent on anyone , chances of getting hurt are more.

These were some effects of the victim mentality. But how to overcome this mentality?

How To Stop Being A Victim?

  • Think Positive – Think positive thoughts. I’m sure you already have heard this from many people. And positive thinking really works. Whenever something happens against you will, instead of blaming yourself, your fate, god or anyone else try to take it in a positive way. Think of that negative situation as an opportunity to grow yourself. That’s how you will be able to find solution for your problem. Negative thinking, Blaming or complaining will only make your situation worse.
  • Take Responsibility – This is the most important thing one should do i.e. Taking responsibility of own actions & decisions. Whatever happens to you, you must held yourself responsible for it. Whether the result is good or bad always take responsibility on your shoulders & keep going ahead. Never ever blame anyone else.
  • Find A Solution – Instead of dwelling over what went wrong, make efforts to find a solution for it. There’s solution to every problem. No matter how hard the problem is there is always a solution present. For example: If the problem is losing weight then it has the most simple solution, which is Regular exercise & healthy diet. So solutions are always present there and we already know them too. But where we fail is at the implementation of solution.
  • Take Challenges – Yes, look at negative situations as challenges. Whenever anything happens against your will, instead of taking it as a setback take it as a challenge. A challenge to grow yourself & to get through negative situations. A challenge to find yourself & get out of your comfort zone.

Final Words

This post is not to target specific people with victim mentality. Actually we all are victims to some extent. We all blame & complain about our life often. I act as victim too.

For example: Right now I’m not going to gym & I’m complaining about weather being too cold.

Solution to this is so simple which is wake up early & run towards gym. So simple isn’t it? But until I get rid of my victim mentality I won’t be able to implement this solution.

So this post is written for everyone and not for targeting anyone specific.

I would love to hear your thoughts about this topic. so don’t forget to comment your thoughts below.

Thank you for reading!


Hello , If anyone wants someone to talk to or wants to suggest me topics to write on then feel free to reach out.

You can contact me here.


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81 thoughts to “Stop Being A Victim

  • MyPoems

    This is good info and must read

    Reply
  • Paige Redwine

    I really enjoyed this post! It was very thoughtful, and I agree we can all fall into the trap of having a victim mentality, but with the solutions, we can all be successful.

    Reply
    • Accidental Blogger

      So true ! There’s always a solution present ๐Ÿ˜€
      Thank you so much โ™ฅ๏ธ

      Reply
  • yaasotaa

    Wow…you’re right. Thinking positively can make us feel better rougher then making the situation even more worst. Moreover, no human perfect right. We all cannot be perfect but we can try to be so.right!! WELL EXPLAINED~ thanks for sharing!!

    Reply
    • Accidental Blogger

      Exactly! With negative thinking we attract more negative things to us.

      Thank you so much โ™ฅ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Š

      Reply
  • a.mermaid'spen_

    This post is something, all people need to read.
    Well explained and perfect choice of words! ๐Ÿ˜‡

    Reply
  • savitha's Blog

    I know of a person like this. But nothing changes about them. It’s just we start avoiding them coz we do need that negativity in our lives.

    Reply
    • Accidental Blogger

      Yes , I’ve been there too.
      All we can do is try to make them aware about this ๐Ÿ˜Š

      Reply
  • Winnie

    An insightful post! ๐Ÿ˜Š

    Reply
    • Accidental Blogger

      Thank you Winnie โ™ฅ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Š

      Reply
      • Winnie

        Youโ€™re welcome! ๐Ÿ˜Š

        Reply
  • Neha Kulkarni

    Amazing Yaar…truly inspiring…It’s never ‘Why me?’….It’s always ‘Try me!’…

    Reply
  • A kwษ™rkฤ“ gal thoughts

    I often use to play the victim role but i learn to take accountability for my own actions.
    http://www.kwerkegal.wordpress.com

    Reply
    • Accidental Blogger

      We all do ! But I’m glad you’re much aware about it & taking actions to solve๐Ÿ˜Š

      Reply
  • swathi

    Thank you so much for providing this kinda informationsโ€ฆ..It really makes me to think & and analyse where Iโ€™m & What Iโ€™mโ€ฆ

    Reply
    • Accidental Blogger

      I’m really glad to know it helped you ๐Ÿ˜Šโ™ฅ๏ธ
      Thank you so much

      Reply
  • Lolsy's Library

    I used to do this something shocking. Until I got attacked by “best friends” and was accused of all these things I wasn’t doing. That’s when I realised, it so wasn’t me,lol

    Reply
    • Accidental Blogger

      Yes , this can happen a lot. I’m glad to know at last you got to know the reality of it ๐Ÿ˜œ

      Reply
  • Vrunda

    Well composed, great post!

    Reply
  • Atul Depak

    Well written. I think we all suffer from victim mentality in various degrees at different moments.

    Reply
    • Accidental Blogger

      True ! We all suffer from it. That’s why it’s important to find solutions ๐Ÿ˜Šโ™ฅ๏ธ

      Reply
  • tanusrirchokhe

    Very nice post… Must read..

    Reply
  • Rani-StarDreamer

    Good one .. absolutely me ๐Ÿ˜ƒ… great post ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป

    Reply
    • Accidental Blogger

      Thank you so much Rani๐Ÿ˜Šโ™ฅ๏ธ

      Reply
      • Rani-StarDreamer

        โค๏ธ… Correcting the line ..absolutely me in case of gym ๐Ÿ˜€ …

        Reply
        • Accidental Blogger

          Oh dang. I thought you spelled it wrong ๐Ÿ˜‚
          High five โœ‹

          Reply
          • Rani-StarDreamer

            Lol ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ high five โœ‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿคญ

          • Accidental Blogger

            Hahah๐Ÿ˜œ

  • K.A.L.T

    Great post ๐Ÿ™‚
    Complaining without ever doing anything is really a waste of time, yet many of us are guilty of it. We should all work towards focusing on resolving the problem on hand rather than finding someone else to blame or shift the responsibility onto. ^^

    On a side note, I feel like whenever I feel really down and negative, I don’t often blame others. I end up being a victim of my own mind because I tell myself I’m the hopeless one who will never match up to those around me. Thanks to that, all it takes to get out of every negative spiral is to either counter myself or to start interacting with others, doing other things such that my mind doesn’t have time to indulge in self-deprecation. Start doing something without feeling like doing that won’t change anything before even trying.

    Reply
    • Accidental Blogger

      Yeah, self blaming and being victim of own mind can be really dangerous too.
      Hence, it should be stopped as soon as possible. And start working to find solutions for it. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
      • K.A.L.T

        Over time, I’ve come to accept the fact that there will always be aspects that we hate about ourselves. As we go about our lives, we can work on improving ourselves. Even if we take slow steps towards the change to our ideal that we desire, at least it is something. I stopped caring so much about my weaknesses and hating myself for them. I mean, complaining about such things is not going to change anything, is it? I simply accept my flaws and continue living life to the best of my ability. Even if I keep messing up, I just let out a sigh, vent a little and continue moving forward, leaving the past in the past.

        Reply
        • Accidental Blogger

          Wow ! This is the best thing I read today.
          Even I agree with this. There are few things about us which can’t be changed & we need to accept it and move on with our life.

          ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Šโ™ฅ๏ธ

          Reply
  • Muntazir

    Good post.

    Reply
  • rajanisingh885721172

    Supper post

    Reply
  • anamikaisblogging

    Good effort Sumith. Every points were very well written. A good job done…

    Reply
    • Accidental Blogger

      Means a lot
      Thank you so much Anamikaโ™ฅ๏ธโ™ฅ๏ธ๐Ÿ˜Š

      Reply
  • Atul Depak

    Hey dear, I have nominated you for the Mystery Blogger Award (https://atuldepak.wordpress.com/2019/01/06/the-mystery-blogger-award/)
    Best Wishes!

    Reply
    • Accidental Blogger

      Thank you so much ๐Ÿ˜Šโ™ฅ๏ธ

      Reply
      • Atul Depak

        Pleasure always โค๏ธ๐Ÿ‘

        Reply
  • Abhishek pathania

    You’re absolutely right ๐ŸŒธ
    It’s all in the brain. We can transform into anything as we wish.

    Reply
  • bhullarransher715

    Hey man!
    You posts are amazing.
    I would really appreciate if you check my blog too!
    http://www.changethesystemlife.wordpress.com/
    Thanks

    Reply
    • Accidental Blogger

      Thank you so much man!! ๐Ÿ˜‰
      Sure, i will check it out

      Reply
  • Through my eyes๐Ÿ˜Š

    Helpful this one๐Ÿ‘ I myself was like the same.. Now improving myself and this will definitely help..

    Reply
    • Accidental Blogger

      Really glad to know that you have identified it & now improving ๐Ÿ˜Š
      Thank you for reading โ™ฅ๏ธ

      Reply
  • Kranti

    Absolutely true, we all are victims to some extent.. and only our positive attitude can help us to find the solution..Such a thoughtful post!!

    Reply
    • Accidental Blogger

      Yes , this is what I tried to convey through this post ๐Ÿ˜Šโ™ฅ๏ธ
      Thank you so much ๐Ÿ˜€

      Reply
      • Kranti

        Always my pleasure ๐Ÿ˜Š

        Reply
  • Mina

    This was really thought provoking

    Reply
  • Vanessa

    This is a very powerful and insightful post, thank you so much! Made me think a lot. I don’t like to think of myself as victim but the truth is that I do act like one unconsciously many times! I often have this thought โ€œWhy everything goes wrong with me?โ€. I’m trying to depend less on others’ approval, I think that’s the number #1 aspect I need to sort out now ^^

    Reply
    • Accidental Blogger

      Yes , we all do it. Actually , I do it everyday. Most of the time it’s unconsciously. But I’m working for it ๐Ÿ˜‰
      Thank you so much & I’m glad it made you think ๐Ÿ˜Š

      Reply
      • Vanessa

        Youโ€™re in a good path ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿป Keep up the good inner work my dear ๐ŸŒฑ

        Reply
  • alyshia-mae

    Great post! it’s interesting that I stumbled upon it today. This week I’m challenging myself to have a complaint free and negativity free week! I appreciate your insight!!! Happy Writing!

    Reply
    • Accidental Blogger

      That’s really great challenge!
      I’m sure you’ll succeed at this challenge & may all your weeks be complaint free ๐Ÿ˜Š
      Thank you so much

      Reply
  • revolutionarymusings

    I find myself in a victim mentality many times in my life but I am getting better because I am learning to take more responsibility for my actions. Instead of wallowing in self pity; I take action. I try to look at where I have gone wrong instead of blaming others. Thank for this post

    Reply
  • Katherine

    Life is such a boomerang sometimes… .
    Nice post!

    Reply
  • thushara18

    I really like your post and agree it to cent percent. I have seen such people and at times I also do so, even if I know thats not good. Nice post!

    Reply
  • aruna3

    Most inspiring post.

    Reply
  • Chandni Asnani

    Wow, this is very insightful. I really appreciate how you chose you write on this topic. While reading, I had only one thought running in my head. I opted for a French class in July, and used to avoid it blaming that the faculty is teaching bad and the timings are not suitable, when infact, I was to blame. I didn’t understand it cause I didn’t really pay attention. ๐Ÿ˜น But, in the end, I made all the wrongs right, by studying carefully and yay! Aced it would be an overstatement, but still, I did well in the exam. Not a victim anymore, yayy! ๐Ÿ™†

    Reply
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  • Sneha

    I loved this post !!

    Reply
  • Stories So Wild

    Hey there! Do you think victim mentality is a cause of nature or nurture?

    Studies show that people who exhibit victim mentality are more likely to exhibit tendencies of self-harm and some studies tell us that self-harm itself could be the result of either genetics or environment. I wonder what your take is, regarding this.

    Would someone be prone to play the victim and exhibit self-harm tendencies because of a hereditary leaning towards the same or because theyโ€™ve seen their families or their society give them the leeway to indulge in these behaviours?

    Reply
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