Are you an attention seeker? You’ll probably say “No”, because in our eyes we aren’t.
When we talk about the behavior of Attention seeking, we think of it as a negative behaviour which other people possess, and not us.
But is that really true?
After reading the heading of this article you might think we’re going to talk about “people” who are attention seekers.
You’re wrong if you think I’m gonna talk about other people. No, it’s about me and you. Each one of us.
Are We All Attention Seekers?
We all are attention seekers. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t be doing most of the things that we do all the time. Things like
- Wearing Attractive Clothes
- Trying out New Hairstyles
- Using Skin Products
- Posting Pictures/Updates On Social Media
- And almost everything
We do things in a certain way so that people notice us and give us approval. Just imagine if we didn’t seek attention & approval, we would not care what people think of us.
In fact, I wouldn’t be writing this article or promoting on different platforms if I didn’t want attention.
And this is okay. We mostly think of this term attention as bad one. But it’s not always that way. We all are humans and our need of getting Attention from other humans is natural.
Few Examples Of Seeking Attention On Social Media
Note: These are based on my own experiences observations.
There was a time when I used to frequently post pictures on Instagram. My personal account has 100+pictures right now even though I hardly post anything there.
There are multiple reasons behind it, but the most important is that I just don’t care. I don’t think it makes any difference if I posted or not.
I have been wondering why we post what we post. Especially when we share our personal life. Be it via posts, stories. If there wasn’t anyone to like, comment or view our posts, we wouldn’t post anything. Right?
Isn’t this seeking attention and getting validation from others?
I’ve been using this app for almost 2 years. And I’ve thought about this a lot of time. What is the point of sending snaps to people? Why do I want to let them know where I’m or what I’m doing or what I’m eating or how do I look in a certain filter?
Like, who cares??
Isn’t the reason behind doing all of this is to seek attention in some way? I think yes. It doesn’t mean me or other people who use it are too desperate to get attention and validation.
By the way, I have recently stopped using this app because I just can’t see any point in using it. I don’t encourage anyone else to do same, it’s just that this app has stopped making sense to me.
Ps: It is possible that I re-join the platforms I have left and be active again. Remember, our thoughts change all the time?
4 Signs Of Toxic Attention Seeking Behaviour
1. When You Can’t Live Without It
If not getting Attention from people around you makes you go crazy then you might be living your whole life on Attention from others.
Maybe you never sat with yourself in silence and felt happy for no reason at all. It’s like your happiness has always come from people around you, and hardly from yourself.
If this is your case then no matter what you do, how you do or achieve different things by yourself, you’ll not feel satisfied until someone else approves it.
For example: If you get a job which you always wanted and you’re super happy about it. You finally feel like your efforts paid off. And when you tell people around you, they don’t approve of you or give a negative reaction, you’ll feel disappointed. (Yeah, it’s normal)
But if you question yourself & your decisions based on others opinions then there is a problem you need to address ASAP.
Another common example would be those type of people who need constant attention from people around them. You will never see this person on their own. Such people mostly do things in a way to get attention and feel better about themselves.
2. When You Use People
People using people to fulfil their needs and desires isn’t something new. It’s happening all the time.
I’m pretty sure that at least once in your life someone has taken advantage of you. This doesn’t have to be using physically, what I see most is people use other people’s emotions for their own good.
So, a person who uses people would keep switching from one person to another to get his/her needs met. Once this person gets bored with one, he/she will jump to another person leaving the previous one behind. And this cycle will never end.
And the reason why it will never end is because this jumping from one person to another will never give anyone peace.
If you are this person, craving for attention from new people all the time, let me tell you, you would never be satisfied with anyone. There will be a time when you realise that it’s not that people you used & left, it’s you who couldn’t satisfy yourself.
3. When You Do Things You Don’t Believe In
Let’s start with a general example
A person joins a new place, a college/Job where he finds a group of people he wants to join and hang out with. The group goes out every weekend and has fun at clubs. As this person wants attention and approval from this group of people, he will agree to go to clubs they go and do the same things.
Even if he doesn’t believe in going to loud and dark clubs or drinking alcohol or smoking, he will end up doing all these things just to get approval and belong to this group.
Another common example would be, people presenting themselves in a way on social media to get attention from people.
You get that?
If Attention or approval or validation is making you do things that you do not believe and never do yourself, then you’re compromising on your own values.
After some time you’ll come at this very harsh realisation like “What the hell I’m doing and why am I doing it“. So, please don’t get involved in things you don’t believe for the sake of attention.
4. When You Lose Yourself
This is in continuation of the last point. If you end up doing things you didn’t believe then you’ll lose yourself. Because you aren’t following your own values. You’ll be always trying to be someone who will get accepted by others.
Eventually, there will be nothing left inside you that you can term yours.
How crazy is that? You did everything you could to get this Attention, you changed yourself according to people around you, yet at the end it doesn’t make you feel at peace.
Even thinking of this makes me feel helpless and lost.
I just hope you don’t lose yourself to gain attention from people who have nothing to do with your life.
Each one of us, including me and you, start seeking attention from the day we are born. It’s in the nature of humans. And I’m not writing this because I think I don’t seek attention. I definitely do.
But, I know that I don’t compromise on my values just to get approval from random people. And, most of the times I run away from any kind of attention.
No one can get completely free of this attention seeking nature unless someone is enlightened or liberated. This doesn’t happen with the majority of people.
So, that’s it for this topic. I hope it made some sense to you.
Thank you for reading!
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