5 Lies about Moving On & Healing After Breakup
What are lies or false advice people give about moving on or healing from past? Let’s try to learn the reality behind all those lies.
Hello Everyone! Many of us have experienced a Heartbreak at least once in lifetime. The most difficult thing after a heartbreak is to move on from it and heal yourself.
Is every Tip or advice is to followed ? Is it 100% true?
In this article, I’ll be talking about the most common lies about moving on that you read and listened everywhere. Also the realities hidden behind those lies.
Lies About Moving On & Healing After Breakup
#1 Lie – Things Get Better With Time
Things get better with time
Time heals everything
We all have read this lines before and also believed them very strongly. I’ve believed it too. And that’s okay, we will discuss why it is actually a lie.
It’s been more than a year since my Heartbreak and yet there hasn’t been a single day where I didn’t thought about it, questioned myself or doubted myself. Even though it’s been such a long time, I often wander back in time to my past.
Obviously, I did move on with my life in this span of more than a year. And it’s not just because of time.
So clearly it says that time didn’t heal my heart completely. And it proves that things just doesn’t get better with time alone.
#1 Reality – Things get better with time when you don’t waste it
What people mean when they say Time heals everything or Things get better with time is that with time you get capable of dealing with your past.
With time you can look back to your past and understand why certain things didn’t happen. You can question yourself and analyse your mistakes.When you do this, you will start to look at your past as a lesson instead as a failure. So, automatically you’ll move on with your life.
But if you’re using this time just to overthink, over-analyse, regret and Blame then no matter how much time passes, you can’t move on and heal from past.
#2 Lie – Seek Support From Friends and Loved Ones
Many will disagree with this point because support from friends and loved ones is very important when we are trying to move on and heal from past.
And I do agree with this advice but it has a dark side too. There are chances that when you seek support from someone you might get dependent on that person. Because at that point all you need is to feel loved and important.
And your closed ones will support you with all their heart to make you feel better and good about yourself. This do sounds to be a good thing but you will never be able to question yourself and improve on your mistakes.
#2 Reality – Seek Support From Yourself and Heal Yourself
Strongest people are those who fight their battles by themselves, help themselves, heal themselves and improve themselves.
When you are alone and trying to help yourself to heal from past, you can dive in deeper to know your inner thoughts. This can have many answers to your questions and help you to discover yourself.
So, Instead of seeking help and support from others, help yourself and heal yourself.
Don’t try to find someone else to help you out. Because even if you do find someone, there’s no guarantee that the person will stay with you forever. And when that person will leave you, things will get even harder for you.
#3 Lie – It Was Not Your Fault
In the above lie, we saw why we shouldn’t rely on someone else’s support to move on and heal from the past. The third lie about moving which we often hear is from the ones who supports us is “It was not your fault“.
It’s a lie. 100% lie. Here, the one who says this isn’t the one to be blamed. Because that person is being nice and trying to help you to stop regretting and blaming yourself for anything happened in your past.
Let’s take an example, if you ever have experienced breakup then you must have come across a friend or loved one who said that it wasn’t your fault. The breakup happened because of your Ex and not you.
Even though the intention of the person is good but this can stop you find out your own mistakes from past. You will always be blaming other people for anything which resulted in failure.
#3 Reality – It Was Your Fault & You Need To Learn
Yes, you made mistakes and did things the wrong way. That is why things didn’t happen as you wanted.
Let’s continue with the breakup example. A breakup is never a result of mistakes from single person. Both hurt each other, unknowingly and sometimes knowingly too. Both say things which they didn’t want or meant to say.
And any breakup or end of relationship has multiple reasons behind it. It’s never fault of just one person.
So, if you’re a person who is been blaming & complaining that your ex was the only one to be responsible for the separation then you’re wrong. You need to take responsibly of your mistakes too. And learn from them which will help you in your future relationships.
#4 Forget Your Past
Again, one more common advice we get about moving on is Forget your past memories and focus on present.
Well, it is easy to say it but Is it that easy to implement? No. When every day you are overthinking, blaming and regretting what you have done in past, you can’t just forget it that easily.
Also, there’s no need to forget your past completely. Why? Because the past is full of lessons. This lessons are the best source to work on your mistakes and improve.
For Example: Let’s suppose that you failed to clear a job interview. What would you do next? Forget that interview and ignore the mistakes you did or learn from them to get the job in next interview ?
I hope you got my point here.
#4 Reality – Never Forget Your Past
The best advice I can give to someone trying to move on from past is to Never Forget Your Past.
Why? Like I said earlier, your past is full of lessons. And the best way to improve yourself is from Failures and mistakes from the past. We always learn more from experience than knowledge. Be it a Good experience or a Bad one.
Many of you will be confused with this point. You might be thinking like “How can we move on if we don’t forget our past ?” Here’s the catch of this tip, You do need to forget all the Regrets, Blames and Negativity from past but you must keep the lessons with you.
Still not convinced with this point? Read Full article : 3 Reasons To Never Forget Your Past
#5 You Need To Find Someone New
Find someone new and better
You deserve Better
This is the one of the worst advice you would get after a breakup. And I’m sure you’ve heard this from many people. I’ve got this advice from many people around me that I need to meet someone new and start dating.
But I never wanted to. Because I’m still healing from my past. I am more afraid of hurting someone else than myself. Well, enough about me. Let’s talk about you.
Yes, you do deserve better. But right now, all you need is yourself. You shouldn’t get involved with someone new before you are completely healed from your past.
#5 Reality – You Need To Find Yourself
You are lost. The real you who was with you before heartbreak is no more there. The person you were before is probably left behind as you got into a relationship. And further heartbreak has even pushed him/her far away.
You need to get back to yourself. Find the old version of you who was happier being alone. You were not always in that relationship and you were happy even when you were single. Right?
After a breakup, it’s the best time to learn from your past self to be happy being alone. Yes, it is not that easy but you need to make yourself understand that you can still be happy and move on with your life.
So, instead of wasting your precious time in finding someone new, find yourself.
In this article I tried to bust all the lies and myths about Moving on & Healing after a breakup. And put my personal experience and learning which can help your healing journey.
Keep in mind that your Moving on journey shouldn’t be based on someone else’s advice or tips. All the things which I’ve mentioned might not be applicable to everyone. But it will surely be helpful to at least 4-5 people.
I hope that I was able to put all my thoughts and opinions clearly in this one. And helped you to understand about how you can move on and heal.
Do share your experience & tips of Moving on after a heartbreak in comments section below.
Thank you for reading!
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