Categories: Relationships

How To Stop Letting Someone Hurt You – Most Practical Ways

Are you tired of getting hurt by someone over & over again? No matter how much you’ve tried to learn from your past experiences, you still end up with pain in the end ?

Does that mean all those lessons from your past were meaningless ?

The answer is, you can’t learn anything based on a limited number of experiences. No way.

You’ll keep meeting people in your life with different behaviors, habits, qualities, etc. And there isn’t one ideal way to deal with them.

In this article we will discuss about 5 ways that will save you from letting people hurt you.

5 Ways To Stop Letting Someone Hurt You

1. Stop Idealizing People

The worst thing you can do to yourself is idealizing people even before you get to know them.

I’m sure you’ve done this at least once in your life. You meet someone new, talk with them, you two connect very well and you assume they are just perfect.

When you idealize them you create a false image and attach many expectations which they can never fulfill. And that’s when you get hurt as the person you had in your mind doesn’t match with the real one.

You need to stop Idealizing people based on mere first impressions. Because they hardly hold any truth. Everyone sells his or her best qualities in initial meetings or conversations. You don’t just reveal your darkest sides to someone right away or directly.

Idealizing people always leads to disappointments. For example: We all have a favourite celeb whom we idealize a lot and look up to. But when we get to know their dark side, we get hurt. We take it too personally, don’t we ?

Yes, people do have great qualities, kind behaviors, perfect looking personalities. But at the end of the day they are just a normal human being just like you. They have their own best and worst sides.

You’ll become much more realistic when you accept this universal truth and start treating people equally.

2. Set Clear Boundaries

This is a very important thing which we all need to learn in our lives. Setting clear boundaries can save you from a lot of mess in relationships.

But, What are Boundaries ?

No you don’t have to construct boundaries around you physically. These are emotional, physical or mental limits that shouldn’t be crossed by anyone. Not even you.

Why do we have to set these Boundaries ?

Crossing these boundaries can hurt a lot. Most of the time we aren’t even aware that someone or even we are crossing them unknowingly.

Like, in a friendship or a romantic relationship where you are stressed all the time and feel like the other person has a control over you. This is what crossing our boundaries feels like.

The only reason why people cross them is because we let them.

First of all it’s so important to identify your own limits. So that you can protect yourself from going out of the way for people and end up hurting yourself.

Otherwise you might end up giving control of your life to others. It can happen emotionally or even physically as well.

Setting clear boundaries is actually treating yourself respectfully, and also making others treat you the same way.

So, know them first and set them right away.

3. Spend Some Time With Yourself

You might wonder what am I talking about and how spending time with yourself will save you from getting hurt.

Life gets easier when you know yourself.

But how will you know yourself when you don’t even spend time alone? The state of solitude will help you to know the real you.

Advantages of spending time with yourself

  • You’ll Know What You Want – Most of us are unaware about what we really want in our life. Being specific to the topic of this article, you’ll know what kind of relationships, people you want in your life and how you want them to treat you.
  • You’ll Know What You Don’t Want – You’ll also get to know what kind of relationships, people you don’t want in your life. The alone time will help you to reflect on your past experiences in relationships.

When you know what kind of people are toxic for you, you’ll save yourself from getting hurt by them. You won’t invest yourself in people who are only going to drain you or cause you any kind of suffering.

This is why spending time with yourself can help you to deal with getting hurt by others.

Read detailed article : Spend Time With Yourself

4. Don’t Expect Too Much

You might have heard this piece of advice from many people.

But here’s a little but an important difference in the above statement, that is “too much“.

Having expectations in relationships isn’t as bad as they are portrayed these days. A healthy relationship (including friendships) is based on healthy expectations like Honesty, trust and loyalty. And there’s nothing wrong in having such expectations.

But when you start expecting things like too much attention, love, care or any other thing in excess, you’ll have to face a lot of disappointment. Because no one can fulfill all of your expectations.

Not even you.

5. Don’t Suppress Your True Feelings

One of the most painful things which I’ve done to myself is suppressing what I truly felt. Not once, I’ve been doing it for a long time.

There have been incidences where I was deeply & constantly getting hurt by people but I never raised my voice against it.

Because I always tried to run away from confronting someone as it felt scary to me. But now when I look back it has turned into a big regret.

You should never ever suppress how someone is making you feel, especially when it’s all negative. People usually don’t realise they are hurting us until we tell them.

If you want people to start treating you well then you must be able to voice out for yourself when they are mistreating you. Suppressing your true emotions will only worsen the situation and cause you more pain.

It will keep getting worse as you let it pile up inside yourself. So, speak up now !

Final Words

Most of the time it’s not the people who hurt us, it’s our own expectations and assumptions about them.

It is totally okay and humanly to feel hurt. Because that’s how we get to know ourselves and others.

The best way to stop letting someone hurt you is just to not allow them. Yes, it’s you who allow people in your life to stab you in your heart. You do it unknowingly.

And it’s you and only you who can stop it. By knowing yourself, setting clear boundaries around you and not expecting too much from anyone.

Start treating yourself well and people will start doing the same.

Hope this turns out helpful to you. Let me know in the comments which point you liked the most & gonna apply in your life from right now ?

Don’t miss : How To Stop Hurting Others Unknowingly -5 Simple Ways


I post Articles on Mondays, Photographs on Wednesdays and Poems on Fridays every week.

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View Comments

    • Yes man! We all need to take out some for ourselves. Helps to introspect.

      Thank you so much ❤️

  • When reality doesn't meets our expectations, no matter how intensely it was painful for you, you can never express it.... and it continues to pinch you and make the relations worse with the person from whom you expected high and were left with bitter truth.
    Very informative and relatable post!

    • It's definitely tough but the more we supress deadlier it gets. Before it starts to destroy us from within, we need to speak up.

      Thank you so much Kundan ❤️😊

  • Understanding ourselves is really important.
    The reality and expectations are very hurtful.
    It's better to not keep expectations but we are humans.
    Wonderful post

    • You summarized it well. It's okay to have expectations unless they are "too much". 😊

      Thank you so much ❤️❤️

  • This post made my day. I was that kind of person who get hurt easily by others' deeds, though not much nowadays. The points you shared here has that magical impact in dealing with this issue. I found it very effective when I stopped to keep my expectations on others. I always idealized people as good and lovely to me but they always prove vice versa and it kept hurting me. Stopping the prejudice of determining someone as best persona helped a lot. More than that self love also aid much. This is really a relevant post for those who struggle with this worst situation. Thanks for sharing.🤩💐🎉🎉🎊💞

    • It's so good to know that you've learned from your past experiences. Many people keep doing the same mistakes and keep getting hurt.

      Idealizing people can only bring us disappointments.

      You are most welcome Tushara, so glad to read this comment❤️😊

  • I agree..especially with 2 and 5 point..I have also learned this from my experience.
    I also agree with the fact how we idolize relationships where we don't have expectations. There are expectations..and that's not bad..unless they are not too much.
    Indeed these are the most practical ways👍

    • Yeah exactly! This term "Unconditional love" is something everyone is talking about which is actually very toxic. (I might write something specific on this later)

      Thank you so much Sohanpreet, always grateful for your support 😊❤️

  • I totally agree with spending time with yourself, when you feel secure about yourself I think nothing can get to you. 😊

    • True that! Helps to know what really makes us happy so we can get rid of what doesn't 😊

      Thank you so much Joana😊❤️

  • All the points are so apt and important. It is so important to spend time with oneself and reflect on the things that's been happening and also to set clear boundaries. Thanks for the positivity and inspiration.

    Best wishes from The Strong Traveller and have a great day

    Do have a look at my blog whenever you find the time. There are some travel and lifestyle content which you may find interesting. Your thoughts will surely be very valuable. Stay connected. 🙂

    • Thank you so much!! So glad to know you found all points important ❤️😊

      Sure, I'll head over to your blog and check it out 💯

  • This was a good read. It’s really hard when you care for someone but I think everything you said I’d valid, especially creating boundaries because if we set those it’s way harder for people to mess us over

    • True that! It's us who let people mess us, so we need to chang & improve. Not them ;)

      Thank you for reading! ❤️😊

  • Definitely needed to read this today! I have one person in my life who I just can't shake yet I get hurt over and over again by them not returning the love.. you said it perfectly here - I have too high of expectations. I want too much from them. Thank you so much for sharing this!

    • I'm glad to know you found this article at the right time. I really hope that you will get yourself out this place Asap.

      My best wishes ❤️
      Thank you for reading 😊

  • Spending by myself is always my prefered way of livng. Love your tips very informative.

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