Just like we get hurt by others, we hurt others too. It can be unknowingly or sometimes knowingly too. A lot of times we end up hurting our closed ones and mess up the beautiful relationships. So, it’s important for all of us to learn ways to stop hurting others unknowingly.

In this article, I’ll we will see How we hurt others in detail. Also, 5 ways to stop hurting others unknowingly.

How Do We Hurt Others ?

Yes, we do hurt people. Even when we don’t want to. We say, do, act or behave in a way which hurt others. This doesn’t make any of us mean or cruel.

Most of the times we are hurting people unintentionally. For ex: We say a thing to someone but that one perceives that thing in another way which totally different from out intention. This creates misunderstanding and this is how most of the times, people get hurt.

And we hardly know how to stop doing this and hurting our loved ones unknowingly or unintentionally.

But it’s not really hard as it seems. Let’s look at 5 ways to stop hurting others unknowingly.

5 Ways To Stop Hurting Others Unknowingly

1. Think Before You Speak

Words that we say to others are very important & has a strong impact on the relationships we share. So, what & how you speak to others is something which you need to take care of.

Always think before you speak to someone. Ask yourself if your words can mean something else which isn’t your intention. Put yourself in other person’s shoes and try to understand how that person will feel about what you say.

No, you don’t have to always think before you speak. But in situations where there are chances of being misunderstood, you need to be aware of what you say and also how you say.

For ex: In anger we often say a lot of things which we would never want to say. But we say them out of anger or frustrations which later creates major problems in relationships.

2. Stop Making Assumptions & Judgements

I believe misunderstandings between two people always starts with assumptions. As the name suggests, they’re merely just assumptions and far away from reality.

When you assume things about someone and judge them based on that, it creates many problems. And this will surely hurt others about whom you make assumptions.

For ex: In a relationship, when one of them makes assumptions about the other and start judging him/her, this starts causing fights between the couple.

So, without knowing the reality never try to make assumptions or judge someone. It will not only hurt others but your relationship with other will also get affected.

3. Stay Away From Toxic Attachments

I am not sure if there is a term called “Toxic Attachments”. What I mean by this is when out of two people only one is attached to the other. And is highly dependent on other while other is not attached at all.

In this kind of attachments, the one who isn’t attached unknowingly hurts the other. Even though he/she doesn’t want to. And the attached one always ends up hurting.

Here you can’t really stop hurting the other one because in reality you aren’t doing anything wrong. It’s the other one who got attached and has expectations from you.

Hence, always stay away from this toxic and one sided attachments. The moment you realise someone is getting dependent on you, maintain distance from them. This will surely avoid you from hurting them in future.

Also read: Stop Getting Attached

4. Stop Comparing

Comparisons do hurt a lot. How do you feel when someone compares you with others? You feel down and insecure, right? So, how will others feel when you do same with them?

Be it based on Grades, Looks, Job, Relationship or any other thing, comparisons makes one doubt self. When someone close to you does this comparisons, it hits harder to one.

For ex: Parents comparing child with other children, Teachers comparing a student with others or in a romantic relationship, one comparing partner with others.

I hope by above examples you realised how comparisons can hurt people and you must avoid doing it.

5. Know Their Triggers

What I mean by Triggers are the topics which can trigger feelings or emotions of a person in a way that hurts them. These topics are mostly based on past experiences of a person.

So, when you talk about these triggers with others, you end up hurting them unknowingly. Your few words can take them back to their past and hurt them deep inside.

For ex: Suppose a person is going through a tough time getting over a relationship. And someone starts talking about that relationship to the person, it will not only hurt but also make moving on harder than before.

Well, we always don’t know about someone’s triggers. So, it is acceptable that we unknowingly hurt others. But we can always be cautious while bringing out sensitive topics in a conversation and put them out in a better manner.

Final Words

To be honest, you can’t completely stop/avoid hurting others. You will end up hurting others even when you don’t want. So what is point of writing this article?

The point is just to be careful with what we say, how we say and how you make others feel. And all of these are in your control.

So, always try to keep these few things in your mind to avoid hurting others and to maintain healthy relationships with them.

If you’ve more ways to stop hurting others then please mention them in the comments section below.

Thank you for reading!

Originally posted: 28th October 2019

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