Are you stuck in your past ?

Are you not able to stop blaming yourself/others ?

Are you feeling hopeless about future ?

If Yes , then keep reading further .

Hello Everyone !

Before I start this post ,I would like to share something with you all.

Two weeks back ,I received a mail from a girl (25 years old). She read my answer on quoraHow to get over a breakup” & she needed help. She wanted someone to listen her & help her to overcome her Abusive & toxic relationship.

It’s been 6 months since she broke up with her ex , but still she isn’t able to move on.

And guess what? That guy is already in a new relationship.

And the girl is still trying to move on from her past. She has lost all her hopes. She isn’t able to focus on her career .

And I’m sure there are many people out there who are in same situation as her ,so why not write a post about it πŸ™‚

Let’s start !

So , you had a painful past . Maybe a failure , A heartbreak , A big loss ,anything against your will.

I understand that what happened with you was really harsh & painful , but ask yourself

“Can I change what has happened ?”

“Will blaming myself/others help me to overcome the loss ?”

A huge NO is the answer you’ll get when ask these questions to yourself.

How to move on ?

1. Change your perspective :

When something happens against our will , we act like victims. We blame others for doing wrong. By overthinking we make that small issue the biggest problem of our own life. But when you change the way you look at your past failures , it can help you a lot towards creating best future for you. The first step towards moving on from past is ,looking at your past failure as an opportunity to become better version of yourself.

2. Look at the world around you:

Yesterday , I was watching TV Show called KBC. Ex Marine commando who fought with terrorists to save more than 150+ people was sharing his experience. When I heard it ,I was just numb. The way he & all the people who fought with those terrorists to save thousands of people was commendable. For a moment ,I felt so small in this world. All my problems felt so small & nothing in comparison with problems world is facing. My point is ,stop being a victim. Stop believing that your life or your problems are bigger than others.

β€œI cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet”

3. Keep yourself Busy :

I’ve already mentioned in my previous posts about it. When you are stuck on your past , you lose focus from everything. All you do is keep visiting your past ,analyze it & regret it. This cycle goes on & on. To get out of this cycle ,get into a new cycle. A cycle of engaging activities which will keep you engaged.

When I had breakup (Sorry , I keep mentioning my breakup) ,I didn’t have college for like two months. All I did in those two months was remain stuck in my past.

As soon as I got busy in college & classes , I started to move on. I didn’t have time for revisiting my past & over think about it.

This is what you gotta do. Find ways to be busy as much as possible. Get into a new hobby ,start working on your health ,meet new people ,write ,read ,paint, sing ,anything.

4. Learn from your past :

We often tend to blame others for our past failures. For ex: Most of the people who had a breakup , blame their ex partners for the breakup. They will tell you all the mistakes he/she did. But they won’t accept the mistakes they did. So ,stop blaming others & look for your own mistakes. Take responsibility of your mistakes & learn from them. Use your past mistakes in betterment of yourself.

5. Be Patient :

This is the most important step when you’re trying to overcome past. Since I’ve posted blog about how I moved on from my ex ,I got a lot of questions about how did I manage to move on & feel nothing when I saw my ex with someone else. Be patient & trust that you’ll move on. Some may move on early & some may require more time to heal. And it’s totally okay.

Final Words :

I know a lot of people are facing this problem & I hope this post helps to change the way we look at our past/problems.

Let’s stop thinking about what has happened & start doing what we need to happen.

If you found this post helpful , do share it with your family & friends.

Thank you for reading πŸ™‚

Hello , If there’s anyone who wants to talk about anything , who wants someone to talk their heart out can contact me .I’ll be happy to talk with you about anything .

You can contact me here.

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