What dumb topic, right? Who needs to know or learn how to help someone?
Some of you might have thoughts like these after reading the title but hopefully you’ll find the perspective new.
This isn’t going to be about ways to help someone who is going through adversities in their life.
It’s more about you and not that someone you’re gonna help.
What Is Helping For Real
I would like to start this with an example which I had heard from youtuber/author Shwetabh Gangwar. (Also the influence of this article)
So, the example.
Let’s say you’re walking on road and suddenly a kid with bicycle falls off it on the road. Then you go and lend your hand to pick up the kid & his bike. He thanks you & you both go your own ways.
That’s help in its real sense.
What Is Not Help
As we saw what is help, let’s try to understand what isn’t.
Again, an example.
One of your friends is going through tough time due to some tragedy so you be there for this person, listen to rants, wipe tears and everything else that you could to comfort this person.
But in the back of your head, you feel like this person owes you because of the things you did. You help because you want something in return.
(Especially happens with teenagers/adults who comfort heartbroken person thinking getting into relationship. How childish!)
This is NOT HELP.
If this is your definition of help then you literally need help.
How To Help Someone Without Getting Used
You’ll get such questions in your mind when your definition of help is the 2nd one (mentioned above)
No, I won’t be jotting down 5 ways on how to not get used by people, here you only need to understand one simple thing.
Help Without Expectations
Because that’s what helping means.
When you do something for someone and expect other thing in return, it is business. Not help.
When you help someone without expecting anything, you’ll never worry if you’re being used by someone.
Do it because you feel like, because you genuinely care about someone and are capable of providing what the other person needs at that moment.
Helping others should come naturally to you without any hidden motive behind it. That’s how you will never be used by anyone in the world.
And if you want something from someone then be brave and ask for it rather expecting through hidden expectations.
Nothing more stupid than blaming someone for not doing something you never asked for.
Hope this made some sense.
Let me know your thoughts as well. Literally let me know, I don’t put this just as a formality lol.
Also, this is not a repost. New post finally !!
Thank you for reading!!
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November 4, 2020 at 10:26 am
I seriously had this thought in my mind today! Glad to see you posted on this!! I was always getting used in the process of helping but I never expect anything from them. Sometimes the people who ask help also have the capacity to drain us completely! Believe me i have experienced.
Great post! Loved reading it
November 6, 2020 at 8:16 pm
True that, that’s why boundaries are important otherwise we will be drained by helping too much 😅
thank you so much ❤️❤️
November 4, 2020 at 11:11 am
The last sentence made great sense. As an adult, if we need help, it’s better to ask. It’s dumb to expect someone to decipher our feelings when we’re so good at hiding them.
November 6, 2020 at 8:17 pm
Yeah exactly! How can someone know what we want if we aren’t vocal about it 😁.
November 4, 2020 at 9:05 pm
Very important topic and the conclusion..👍. I think when we expect something but show like we don’t, we are actually lying to ourselves.
Yes, we need to ask or otherwise not expect.
November 6, 2020 at 8:19 pm
Exactly my point. Lying to ourselves is the worst thing we can do.
Thank you so much ❤️❤️
November 7, 2020 at 7:50 am
November 7, 2020 at 8:22 pm
I used to be in the second category lot for a short period. Not that I wanted big things though. My problem was that, I was used to the kind, humble “Thank you” or the “Bless You” response people gave after I helped them. This happened a lot with elders. I would carry heavy bags for them, push their wheelchairs, give them a lift if they are waiting in a bus stop and unconsciously wait for them to tell me “Bless You Child”. One day, I pushed a wheelchair of a disabled person when he was stuck at a bump and after he got through, he just wheeled away without saying “Thank You”. But the feeling of content I got by helping him was still there. So I realized that I actually don’t need their appreciations even. Just helping and knowing that I did is sufficient.
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