An outsider.

That’s what it feels like to read something
that doesn’t bleed my eyes out
from a well known poet
who complains how teens degraded the art
and made a platform toxic

Sometimes the words feel heavier
than weights of the demons people carry
in their pockets
with smiles on their faces
Invisible,
Invincible
and unknown

And the other times
All I can feel is sugar coated toxicity
romanticized as if the real world
is nothing but a deep dark sea
full of sorrow

11 am in the morning
A poem pops up on a feed
enforcing an idea of beauty in
nothing but pure self destruction
and stupidity in its worst forms

An outsider who just overthinks
calls it just sadness
not melancholy
waits for a nightmare
the one which wakes you up in the middle of night
with a dry throat
or
keeps you up until the newspaper bumps
on the door

4 lines
5 lines
then 7 in a verse
but no sign of pain that blows brains
or make anyone crave for it
deadlier than the last nightmare

The words are lighter
and the pain isn’t poetic
Maybe that’s what an outsider is
unaware of broken brains and
lonely hearts of
people who are awake until the birds start
singing with the sunrise

I’m the outsider
trying to write what’s inside
like a poetry
with verses disconnected
far away from sense or relatability

Is this what “writing my hear out
stands for?
Maybe yes.


Poem Description

I just realized that I wrote this poem exactly 2 months ago, time is literally flying.

It was written at the same time when I wrote an article called ‘Stop Romanticizing Pain‘. I didn’t publish it as I thought it might offend someone (I still think so).

The reason why I am calling myself an outsider is because I felt like one. I was comparing my poetry with others’ a lot. Even when I don’t consider myself as a poet, I just couldn’t help it. But I know it is natural and happens with many people. Thankfully, I have stopped doing it.

I don’t intend to target anyone by writing this. To be honest, I don’t even remember why I have written some of the lines in this one. So, I am not sure if this makes any sense.

Do share your interpretations in the comments below, I’m curious.

Thank you for reading !


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